And the beat goes on...

My Top 100 of 2012

Well, it is that time of year again. The time of year that I get more nostalgic than Summertime and sit and think about the last 365 days starting with January 1st and looking at all that has happened. I have to say 2012 was one of the most interesting years to date. Not as hard as other years, but not entirely easy either 2012 served many purposes. One major purpose was family. The next was my jobs and the list progresses. This is the 6th year of me blogging a top 100! My previous #1s were:

2007: Graduating from High School

2008: Moving out of Kings Park 

2009: Deleting my Facebook (<--- BAHAHAHA LOL idealistic Stephanie)

2010: Adopting Annie 

2011: Graduating from College (2011 was posted on Facebook, take that 2009 Stephanie)

Reading those makes me insanely happy. Even if there are people on there that aren't in my life anymore - whether it just be that we went in different directions or if the ending was ugly, it seriously doesn't matter. 2013 is a year I am really working on letting go of a lot of the anger I feel. I talk about it a lot but I know that inside, I hold onto everything. All it does is hurt me, the people who I am upset with don't feel this, so why should I? 

Also, I had the same blog URL for 4 years straight - WHAT?! I had no idea! Stephaniesays.wordpress.com CRACKS ME UP! It is so funny how you and your politics and ideas change over time - I can't even read some of it. I have come so far from 18 year old me, it makes me kind of proud. 

Well, the rambling must come to a close and the list must start! 

100. My photo wall, and everything it means to me. 

99. Panda. Effing. Garden. Chinese Food rules my life sometimes. And their fortunes are just the best. 

98. Pinterest and its all inspiring craftiness and lazy days. 

97. Our Ice Cream Maker - even if we used it only once (LOL) it was damn good!

96. Steev setting up Darts in our backyard and the silly great games that were played because of it.

95. Seeing The Hunger Games at midnight, dressed like professionals with our coffee about 10 years too late for the party. 

94. Being crafty (see 98) 

93. Craigslist.org for the free cool stuff and the hilarity it ensues. 

92. My ever growing collection of typewriters. They are everywhere. 

91. There seriously was a helium shortage this year. 

90. Antiquing and Auctions 

89. Thursday BBQs turning into 'Tim Gets Drunk and we Yell at Phil' Thursdays

88. Our friend the Fat Squirrel 

87. The Annie Lookalike 

86. The 'Drop Your Pants Here' sign in front of the St. James Cleaners. 

85. Streaming Netflix even though it is kind of disappointing. 

84. The Urban Decay Vice Pallet. In. Love. 

83. The Lobster Feast for Katie's Birthday 

82. My hair. Another great year for my hair. 

81. Our intense collection of Mason Jars & Old Bottles 

80. The kick ass Candy Buffet Nicole & I put out. 

79. 'Do you have a photo of the day yet? Can I be it?' 

78. Photo of the Day in general. Seriously, such a great tool for traditions such as this. Also, it is just fantastic to look back and say 'wow, a lot really does happen in a year'. Also, getting photos of everyone on their birthday, and if I remember at every outing is something I really cherish. We take memories for granted. 

77. 'Wedding Wednesday' in Jan. Jumpstarting our first year as CNO 

76. All of the clients we had and the days we got to share with them. 

75. Deciding that CNO is now to take a new direction. New name to be announced and website to be launched soon! 

74. Painting most of our apartment, the bathroom is the only room left! 

73. Our awesome new bedroom, I am finally proud of the work I have done in this place. 

72. Finishing our wedding albums. Making those scrapbooks were tough for many reasons. We came to terms with being not-so-happy with our wedding photos and just relished in the memories they captured. 

71. Auditioning for the Newlywed Game. We knew each other too well, weren't too crazy, and were unafraid to say whatever we felt. The funniest part was when Steev said he was 26 when he was still 25 and I called him out on it. We could have gotten a call back and missed it - but auditioning was fun enough. 

70. Perks of Being a Wallflower - the movie didn't really ruin anything for me. Instead it inspired a level of nostalgia that made me really, really happy. 

69.  21 Jumpstreet and laughing my ass off with Nicole

68. Seeing Jackie Hughes and meeting her wonderful Girlfriend Erinn - I want to see more of them in 2013 

67. Keeping in touch with that Good Ol' Jason Todd who seems to make it on the list every damn year 

66. Keeping in touch with all of my former educators, like Cruikshank & Flatty. Facebook is helpful in that department - and these educators becoming more like friends. 

65. Losing power with Hurricane Sandy. Yeah, it ruined our Salem trip and having no power is a bummer but quite honestly the 4 day break from life was pretty fantastic. 

64. I know we already mentioned clients, but Tom & Jessica's wedding was amazing and becoming friends with them as been truly wonderful!

63. The Hamptons Designer Showhouse with my Mom, Ceil & Freddy. It was pretty amazing. 

62. Seeing Tim Bradley again and having him over for some food 

61. Actually hosting many BBQs and dinners, I am hoping to host more in 2013 

60. Steev's iPad 

59. Kings Park Half & Half - The original. 

58. Liz's Rainbow Cookie Birthday Cake (oh my goodness so delicious) 

57. Finding out that bakery makes Rainbow Cookie Cupcakes 

56. Annie eating our Rainbow Cookie Cupcakes 

55. Annie being the biggest B on earth & Annie Shaming 

54. Seb's empalalas & his face when he opened his gun for Christmas

53. Our Christmas Decorations - our trees and tree filler and colors. 

52. Being a Stella & Dot Stylist for a hot second and all of the amazing jewelry. Then selling a ton of pieces for Christmas Money. Yeah, that's how I roll. 

51. Babysitting Maggie, it was so funny to have a St. Bernard in the apartment and Maggie is the greatest. 

50. Uncle Lou's 50th Birthday Party and his Butt Cake. 

49. The Coiro Brothers recreating that childhood photo. So great. 

48. The Tattoo Convention 

47. Liberty Tattoo Company in general - Dan always does the best work and so glad to see he has a great shop to his name now 

46. Taking Alyssa to get her first tattoo and her taking it like a champ! 

45. Bowling to send Mallory off into the Airforce  

44. Skyping Mallory & Her new Husband Keith in on Christmas Eve 

43. Meeting Aunt Eleanor & Cousin Cookie 

42. The knitting fiasco on St. Patrick's Day - too funny

41. Steev tiling our backsplash and it looking gorgeous 

40. The cutie Tess turning 2 and her great birthday party! 

39. Going to see the basketball man himself Big Steve play a game 

38. Moving Big Steve in to his new apartment. Furniture shopping with him and helping him out, pretty great stuff. 

37. My cousin Amanda's new apartment in all of its beautifulness. And her party saving our Halloween from totally sucking. 

36. Sam Pape 'Roomie' and her baby girl Giovanna being such a pretty little thing. From her Baby Shower to the Naming, it was great spending time with the Pape ladies! 

35. Saying goodbye to feathers and having 3 jobs in the course of a month. 

34. My job at Sivana, and then letting it go. 

33. Being unemployed for a little while. It really helped me figure some things out, or at least let me think about a lot of things. 

32. My new jobs as a Crisis Counselor  for Project Hope and a Daycare Assistant at Little Lotus are really great, and truly fulfilling.

31. Allowing myself time to figure it out. 

30. Allowing myself time. Period. 

29. Amanda the Florist (as she is known haha) getting engaged and being kick ass all the way around. Amazing flowers, amazing friend! 

28. Alexis & Keith and growing a friendship out of a professional relationship which is pretty damn awesome! 

27. Hurricane their cat, she may hate me, but she is really great. 

26. Chaos the cat, Vera the dog, and all of the other furry creators in our lives (Maggie, Beans, Bogey, Harlow, Skeeter, Betty, Boomer and Charlotte) always making us happy. 

25. I already mentioned Annie, but she rules. 

24. Uncle Matt & Aunt Vicky's Christmas Dessert Party 

23. Steev's Tattoo that is based off of our Lovemore Photo which is pretty amazing 

22. Watching Nicole Mastromonica participate in the Tough Mudder. Even if it meant getting sun poisoning I was so proud to watch my best friend kick major ass. 

21. All of our amazing friends (Big Steve, Jen Jacobs, Nicole, Michelle C. just to name a few). Whether super close or distant being in touch with all of you makes my world a better place. There is nothing better to me than a random Facebook message or text message from an old friend. 

20. Friends that are like extended family, Rose & Pat and their beautiful kids Guslie and Patrick, The Schafers, The Wellers, The Wilsons (beautiful baby Dean!). This was the year to have people like these in our lives. 

19. Rose Avella gets another number because she is the best Auntie anyone could ever ask for. Ever. So much you have done for my family this year Rose - I love you so much!

18. My beautiful cousins and all that they do for me. Really, cousins are the best kind of family. I wouldn't want to be Panama Jack anywhere else. 

17. Alyssa, Evan & Krystal's Graduation Party. Incredible. 

16. Going to Canada. 

15. Seeing Mary Poppins on Broadway. 

14. Eating at that Cuban Restaurant and seeing Demetri Martin. He was funnier live, seriously. 

13. Even though our Halloween Trip was ruined by the storm, seeing the cute trick or treaters made it worth it. 

12. The Ugly Christmas Sweater Eve with my In-Laws. It was such a blast making ugly sweaters and sharing. 

11. My new camera and the amazing images it helps me capture. Truly I am excited for 2013 and all of the memories I get to store. 

10. Steev lighting up over his new Phonograph. 

9. "LOOK IT'S PRUST" 

8. The NYR/NYK Double Header. Seriously an awesome day at MSG. #Endthelockout 

7. Our Chicago Trip, eating at The Girl and The Goat. I was sick, but loved every second of that city. 

6. Our cousin city trip.  Honestly I am the happiest when my cousins are here. All is right with the world when we are all together. I have this big ridiculous family and no matter what we all have a great time together. This year instead of being lost in a hallway we got screwed at Fridays and my cousin Ryan loves me enough to take a decoration from Bryant Park that I can use for my Christmas all year - I will totally remember this trip for that. I can't wait to hopefully go back this summer to have another city trip tradition. But, this year was great, because of how much my life is better when my cousins are here!

5. Seeing Jack White at RCMC. One of the greatest shows ever and probably my favorite musician of all time. I am a little obsessed. 

4. Meeting Andy Cohen with Liz! 

3. Our backyard. Steev worked his butt off chopping trees & clearing ivy. My Father was amazing in that he came in and helped with the materials. Then my cousin Dave, our friends, my brother and my Poppop all came over to help Steev lay out the patio on the hottest days of the year. Honestly so grateful for everyone in my life. I have the best Dad anyone could ever ask for and the best husband. Our backyard is so nice, I am so excited for a full summer with it next year. 

2. Our 1 year anniversary trip to Rhode Island. Being married a full year was amazing, Steev is the love of my life and this trip was too short and too amazing. The NYLO was ultra cool and the towns were so much fun. It was too hot, but we didn't care. Loved this vacation, the dinner that my Mom called and took care of as a present was delicious. 'I didn't know they served drinks in beakers'. We laughed so much. I really loved this weekend. 

1. The NHL Winter Classic in Philly. The year started with it, and nothing topped it. From 'I do apologize' to 'I think that is Patti Labelle' and then over to me screaming Speechless to Nicole with no voice - this was a memory of epic proportions. Steev and I were sick and disgusting but it did not mean we were missing our chance to sit in the freezing cold and watch a hockey game. The Rangers KILLED IT and kept us on our feet. We were gloating fans all the way. I loved this, LOVED THIS and would do it again in a heartbeat. But hey, the NHL decided to also be a bunch of pricks this year and demonstrate a lockout preventing me from more memories. Let's not see that again in 2013....

This year, this was truly a task! I actually had to think about it, when in previous years the list just filled itself. There was SO MUCH to choose from, meaning I am truly blessed. When it comes down to it, I have one big loud dysfunctional amazing family I would never trade in for anything else because really they are there for us no matter what. I have amazing friends, and an incredibly wonderful husband. I have a roof over my head and health insurance and sometimes at the end of the week we have no food in the house but always seem to be full anyway. In times like these, little things are what get us through, and lists like this just remind me how many big things I really have.

I hope that all of you in 2013 make an effort to store your memories. Not all of you will take a photo every day but make a point to make these memories. Go do something different with people you care about. On those nights you're doing nothing, call someone else up you know is doing nothing and bake cupcakes or rent a movie together. Make a point to be together but also take time for yourself. Know yourself enough to do something that makes you happy, or relaxes you every day and do not feel guilty about it. At every New Year we make promises to ourselves, try to only make one, and keep it.

Have a very fun filled New Years Eve, and a very beautiful New Year! 

2012 Christmas Wonderfulness

Christmas this year was great. Christmas Eve we all bonded over something silly - Ugly Christmas Attire. We either crafted our own, or like Uncle Matt - Sprung for the best sweater ever worn by Dale in Stepbrothers. I had fun with my new Canon and took a ton of photos. Christmas was a little more chaotic and my family wasn't too friendly when it came to me taking photos. There is nothing that kills making memories more than a room full of people questioning your intent on taking photos then telling you to stop. Honestly it stings a little, I know the family shutterbug may annoy the crap out of you, but I think you will be more sorry that these images get missed. 

Anyway, here are my favorites from the two days:

Steev showing off his sweater

Watching Step Brothers 

Bogey!

We Skyped in Mallory & her new Husband Keith with Steev's iPad. She is in the Airforce and he is in the Marines, their leave did not allow them to be home for the holidays :( but we got to see them which was great!

Poppop wrapped two small giraffe statues for Aunt Pat in several large boxes, all wrapped and inside of each other. And yes, Aunt Pat dresses as an Elf!

Awkward Family Photos for the win!

Steev & His Poppop 

My Brother & Sisters-in-law all clad in Ugly Christmas Attire and putting up with my constant photo taking. I love these shots. 

Steev & I changed into matching shirts. Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal!

Probably the best series of photos I will ever take. Steev, his sister Katie, my Father-in-Law and I chipped in to get my Mother-in-law an iPad. The first photo is her upset because she was instructed that she couldn't open her pile of presents. Then, opening, then confused because she had no idea what it was, and then totally insanely happy. 

Ok, if you look closely, to the left of my Father-in-law is my Brother-in-law Seb holding his Groucho statue he just opened. It is hysterical. 

Steev, my Sister-in-law Katie and I chipped in to get my Father-in-Law an Eli & Peyton Manning signed poster. 

Steev's favorite song is Julie London's Cry Me A River, he got it on a 78 for his new Senora Phonograph. 

Now begins the sparse photo taking at my family's on Christmas Day

My parent's cat, Chaos, hates my guts. 

My younger cousin Alex playing with Chaos. 

My brother Tom. 

My Mother & Cousin Dan. 

My Uncle Bill has the same Birthday as Jesus. 

My Ceil and Poppop

My Parents. 

At the end of it all, we came home to our glowing Christmas Tree. Steev's back is still hurting so today we are going for another MRI. I will be working on my top 100 of 2012 post to post on New Year's Eve. I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Matters of Life & Death

When you are a part of a large family it is rare if you are not introduced to death early on in life. You realize that life is on a cycle, and will end one day, and normally this realization is held on the tails of losing someone you love. It is not fair or explained, but it happens and you just learn how to deal with it. As a child, dealing with it came to me in forms of anger, mistrust, communication and confusion. After gaining more experience this settled into the normal dose of sadness but also a lot of gratitude. You see, I found that when faced with the devastation of losing a loved one there is no right or wrong way to go about your feelings. For the most part you will put walls up, swallow a lot of sorrow out of pride but you are still faced with the harsh reality that the person you have lost is not going to physically be a part of your life any longer. When you add a healthy dose of gratitude to these motions, for one reason or another, the rest of the emotions you will experience are warmer than they would be without them. Through the initial tears of loss, I say to myself ‘I am so lucky to have had this person in my life, not everybody got to have them in their lives, and I will celebrate them though I will miss them’. This when coupled with cherished memories and jokes dulls the hot sting of the vicious and relentless cycle.  

These thoughts were inspired today by my Great Aunt Mary who we lost on September 30th of this year. Aunt Mary was everybody’s Aunt, and she was 90 years young when she was taken from us. The long bountiful life she lead was an example that I have reflected a lot upon through the hours since her service. Aunt Mary made us all family, and this is true. My Elementary School Principal (her nephew) delivered the Eulogy. Through Aunt Mary, we were all family, and this was important. When you treat everyone in your life like a family member you will gain so much more in your lifetime than you lose. There were a lot of wonderful things said about her today, which made the hollowness of her loss a little fuller. 

Sitting in the pew behind my parents with my cousins I listened as Father Sean delivered the most beautiful Homily that was inspired by Aunt Mary. Most of it reflected upon Kings Park, my home town, the tiny dot on Long Island and how Aunt Mary was Kings Park, she was what it is all about. Now many of you reading this may not understand how Kings Park is different than most towns out there. Kings Park is a true community, it is one of the only places left that operates as a true community within a town. When push comes to shove, differences are put aside and we take care of our own. Aunt Mary was a pioneer of Kings Park. She was a town staple. Everyone knew who she was - and she knew who you were too. You also knew never to refuse the spot next to her in Church, because during ‘Peace’ she would slip you a 5 dollar bill while she kissed you on the cheek. Aunt Mary was everything good in this world, and we should all learn a few things from her that I will share on here today. 

1. Age is only a number: People who get caught up in age, get old. Aunt Mary was a young 90 years and she refused any help in her final years. She wanted to live on her own, take care of herself, and she was going to have it that way. You never once heard her utter how hold she was, that she was tired, that she was aging or ‘too old for that’. She marched in town parades, relished in positive attention and made jokes that sometimes could make you blush. She never once let the years slow her down. Because of this, her 90 years were lived exactly how she wanted them to be lived. When you start focusing on the time that has passed instead of the time ahead, you age yourself and limit yourself. Limitations based on age are meaningless. 
   
   
   2. Remember the good things. Aunt Mary had a memory like mine, where she knows you and what happened to you 10 years ago up to today. Any story you shared she knew, and could one up you with another. Something that Aunt Mary didn’t do was pass along bad stories. Maybe the stories would be silly and funny but never cruel or hurtful. If she knew an unflattering thing about you, she took it to her grave with her. She may have been a stubborn woman, but she was never a spiteful one. 
   
   
   3. Traditions matter. You go through life learning little things from those who came before you, and while you will pave your own way, their example matters. Holding onto traditions like having a pot of soup on the stove at all times may seem silly to an outsider, but all that matters is that your Grandchildren know and understand where you are coming from. When you lose sight of such things you lose sight of who you are. 
   
   
   4. It does not matter what your reward is, always do the right thing. Aunt Mary was a staple in Kings Park History. She was there as the town was made. She went to daily mass, she was good to everyone and never expected anything in return. She went to the wakes of the people who would pass, she made sure Saint Joseph’s Church offered mass for every one of her fallen friends. She never let a day go by that she was not looking out for other people, even in small ways. The words said about her today proved to me that living your life this way is the only way to go. 

It is discouraging sometimes, growing up in this selfish generation that has really lost the meaning of community. But, listening to the words said about Aunt Mary today while the sun shone through the stained glass windows of St. Joseph’s Church in Kings Park made it all make sense. We should all strive to have those things said about us. She had the ability to walk into a room and catapult your mood from bad to good with her just being in your field of vision. Not many people have that quality, and she was one of the greats. 

It hit me that Aunt Mary was gone when I walked into Clayton’s Funeral Home and did not see her. Like I said, Aunt Mary always paid her respects, and always went to make you feel better. At my Uncle Tom’s wake back in 2002, she walked in and saw me sitting alone by the door. She immediately exclaimed ‘Stephanie! You beautiful little thing you, let me introduce you to my seniors.’ Her Seniors were in fact her friends who were all 5-10 years younger than her that she drove to Clayton’s that evening. She held my hand. She knew I was sad, and sitting alone and she held my hand and comforted me without calling attention to the pain I was in. She was magic. At her wake, she was not there to hold any hands, we had to old each others the way she taught so gracefully, and I would say we did her proud. 

It may sound strange, but Aunt Mary was an icon. Professors and Key Food knew who she was based on her daily visits. She was a part of a growing town and survived her whole high school graduating class. It is the end of an era for a community and for a family for sure. Death is just a matter of life, and I am so thankful to have had Aunt Mary - but it does not mean I will miss her any less. 

The words that were spoken in her honor were incredible - we all should strive to have those things said about us when we pass. If I know her, she is in a new shiny red car with Uncle Andy watching over Kings Park as I type. God Bless You Aunt Mary, you were a shining example for us all.