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Herstory

And so I had all intentions of this being a food type of post but I have become deflated with reality. My whole life may be changing very soon – for the better but it will be a challenge for me. I love food – crappy junkie delicious food and I was ready to experiment and cook and share, but reality has struck and I am not sure it would be responsible for me to adventure into unhealthy cooking right now.

This week I finally went to the doctor and got some blood work done. They took the blood from my hand (which SUCKS) but nonetheless I did it. Turns out what I suspected was true: my thyroid levels were low.

Here is some backstory:

When I was sixteen I went to the doctor for a physical and they found a large cyst in my neck. It was (and is) uncomfortable when it is pressed on and swells whenever it feels like it. The doctors were perplexed. I was there in my paper gown with every physician in the office poking and prodding at my neck. The concerned looks back and forth were enough to make me nervously shake and start to cry. I am prone to full blown anxiety attacks – most of the time they are triggered due to my health.

After a painful 10 or so minuets went by, I was sent across the street for X-Rays. After that I was sent back to the doctor’s office.

“No spots”

“No spots, no, but she needs a biopsy”

I read enough Lurlene McDaniel books in my adolescence to know that a biopsy was serious and that it could conclude in caner. I knew that a lump in the neck could be Leukemia because that is what one of the girls felt on her boyfriend in one of those tragically sad novels. It ends with him drawing her a flower and then passing away on prom night. With all of that racing through my head I went into a tailspin of ‘what if’. But, the biopsy was clear (yes I was awake when they stuck a giant needle into my neck) but I was ok. The cyst apparently formed in response to some mysterious neck trauma I suffered growing up (whatever that was).

The problem was that it was wrapped around my thyroid. But the tests proved my levels to be normal so I exhaled.

Soon after this I started something a lot of teenage girls start and that is birth control pills which result in some extra hormones regulating some weird things in your body.

Over the course of the next 6 years I struggled with stress and weight like any other person does. My weight was always an issue since growing up I was a skinny awkward girl and I didn’t develop or grow into my features until I was about 17.

I started college 20 or so pounds heavier than I was used to (this means I weighed about 130 pounds….yeah I was that skinny). It has been a major insecurity of mine.

Every diet, every exercise, every everything I did to lose weight. At one point I lost 30 or so pounds in 2010, which was amazing for me. But like most people it went up and down like usual. The problem was after I stopped taking my pill my weight increased by almost double even though I was still eating the same. In discouragement I went back into some old habits but it was still strange how I was on a steady increase that I have never seen before. This was all right in time for my wedding so thanks for that insecurity universe, I don’t think I will ever forgive myself.

So, after scaring the living daylights out of myself by reading one of those ‘preparing for pregnancy books’ since starting a family is on the table I decided I am already 95% a bad mother because well I have cavities that need to be filled (aka I need like 4 crowns because my mouth is in distress) and I am carrying extra weight.

Finally, I go get my thyroid tested. It makes sense, I have all of the symptoms (which are vague). The main reason I went to get tested was that even after trying to conceive, it wasn’t happening after 4 months (yes I know that is too soon and a lot of people take a year but seriously it is discouraging and it got me to the doctor so shutty) I read that a thyroid issue could lead to fertility troubles.

Just as I suspected, my levels are low and I have an appointment with a specialist in about 2 weeks. After that I will most likely be put on a medication where I will have to fast and completely change my diet and routine to make it effective. It scares me so much because I am so stubborn and can never stick with anything.

So I have deiced that if it comes down to it this blog will be a place for me to share an experience. Underactive Thyroids are very common in women my age (who knew?!) and as frustrating as it is to hear ‘what you have is common, it is no big deal’ that isn’t what I want to get across. While it may be something people see often, it is a HUGE DEAL because hi, it effects every-day life. So I will keep you posted, and this blog will become Twenty Something Stephanie: Woman on a mission to help other women.

And some cute crafts and stuff in-between.

Happy Friday – I hope everyone feels fantastic today

Changes

Hello to the nobody who reads my blog – I am working on changing that ;)

Anyway for now I made some more than necessary changes to the look of my blog – ya dig? I sure do. Even if there are a few kinks still I am glad that it is all somewhat working out. I wanted to post about the changes because I have been spending a lot of time living and I am inspired by other blogs to share some things and to document more.

Since August 4^th (yes the day I got married) I have been doing a project 365 to document my first year as a wife day by day. Through this project 365 some challenges have arose:

1)      We are unbelievably boring

2)      Sometimes life gets hard unexpectedly and you don’t always want to document it

3)      I forget to take photos

All in all though it has been great so far and I am so happy that I did it. But now – since the writer in me is seriously aching for some action – I must Keep Calm and Blogger On.

Since I joined Pinterest I have been addicted just like I have been on the likes of Tumblr but now I have all of these warm fuzzy feelings of sharing recipes and crafts and it makes me so motivated to be productive.

So tonight will start my resolution of cooking new things at least once a week with the Stuffed Taco Shells recipe I pinned a week or so ago. Yes I know we are nearing the end of the month but better late than never. I feel like resolutions can be made all year, changes happen at the drop of a hat, the new year is always just a good starting point but isn’t the only one. Ya know?

I will start to document my cooking adventures (thanks Corinne!) and maybe even some of my 365 pictures. While I will write my everlasting pros also I am going to implement my creative ventures because I need an outlet for my creativity and here is the blog.

I also have a blog for my business (yup I’m a small business owner) here. I’m an Event Planner, which is really, really awesome.

Any creative people want to help me with html blah blah blahs and teach me a thing or two about photoshop? I’m a little lost!

So look out for some new awesome entries.

As I would like to say to myself today: Welcome Back Stephanie, Welcome Back.

2012

And over a month later: a post.

I am the worst at neglecting my blog. 2012 has not been held to my oath of organization but alas I am aware of the problem and making an effort to fix it.

It is snowing today. And as much of a pain snow can be – I am unbelievably happy. I love snow. I have a total Gilmore Girls over the moon love for the magic of the wintertime and the snow that falls during it. Driving home from work will be challenging but I will be able to look at the prettiness and serenity that snow brings.

I bought a brown leather beautiful journal which I have been writing in at least every other day. It has been nice. The focus that it brings to me is so intense. I think I am going to make an effort to start the day with it instead of end the day with it. I have been making small personal changes that I am hoping will add up into big ones this year.

Let’s face it, last year was full with big ups and huge downs and honestly I am in need of recovery. My Sister & Brother In-Law’s beautiful wedding day, our father’s retirements, my brother graduating from high school, me getting my bachelor’s degree, all led up to our wedding, being in Paris (falling in love, never wanting to come back), and then suffering one of the most painful losses a family could suffer. Cancer is a horrible thing. Please everyone take care of yourselves out there.

 But I cannot dwell on any of it, the good the bad and the ugly. Instead I need to move forward. Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.

So hello first blog entry of 2012 – you’ll be seeing me more often.

Also, out there in the blog universe, is there anyone who could kindly help me with a layout? I will pay if I have to, or trade my event planning services. Please contact me!

Ta Ta For Now,

Stephanie