Here I am 23 and sick as a dog. Yes, our vacation to Chicago was cut even shorter by my horrendous stomach bug coming back with a vengeance on our last day of visiting the Windy City. I was sick through my birthday, yesterday, and even today. I hate it. Everything smells and tastes weird when you are sick. I will do a post about Chicago and our apartment painting (YES WE ARE FINALLY PAINTING) later this week.
I think the worst part of being stomach sick is the constant ‘So you’re pregnant?’ that comes from everybody. I kindly told everyone to stop asking me while I go through this whole blood testing drama. But does anyone listen? Nope. It makes me want to break into a zillion pieces every time I see that smirk, that ‘You’ve been sick a lot lately…you sure you’re not expecting?’
Yes, I am pretty damn sure. The last time I was puking I was also ending my period (by the way, WORST). The sickest joke of it all was over this vacation I was supposed to be ovulating – so it would have been a good try – and BOOM illness. Maybe it is a sign there is something wrong – who knows, everything happens for a reason I guess.
This warm winter killed no germs, so my already weak immune system is just gobbling up every illness it can contain to make me sicker. I don’t appreciate it one bit and hope it stops.
The one thing I will take away from this is I haven’t eaten barely anything in the past few days. My ‘This is Why You’re Fat’ by Jackie Warner came in and I am going to break it open today. I am really resisting for some reason. I am clinging to an unhealthy lifestyle because it tastes good. But why else? I am having all of these issues and I want to change myself for the better but I see the healthy recipes and I scoff. I need to change my attitude and fast. I am 89% ready but I know I need that 11% to actually be successful. I think once I am no longer weak I am going to start light exercise. I know if I am doing the work, I am going to want to follow it with being healthy to see results.
I will keep you all posted.
Another successful decision I have made would be what to do with my birthday money. I got some cash, and I was planning on going to Sephora and buying more pretty make-up but I decided to stash it in my jewelry box. Save it. I really want this certain couch from Macy’s. I don’t know why, I just really like it. If I save my birthday cash and if I make any money from my Stella & Dot parties this month I could maybe get that couch by April. I really hope so. I really need to book some trunk shows – hopefully that happens this weekend.
I also made a distinct effort to let certain things roll off of my shoulders lately. It has been a rough battle for me, but I have decided people only hurt you when you let them. If they know they are hurting you and they continue to be hurtful why bother? They truly have no care for you or your feelings so forget it. I do care too much – but I have decided it just is not worth my effort anymore. I also wanted to dig up the past recently – like almost 5 years’ worth of past now by writing a few e-mails. I know those words fall on blind eyes though. So maybe I am finally letting something go. It has been a while.
But, getting into that will also dig up blogging past (livejournal, meet wordpress). I don’t want to backtrack – only forward walking happens from here.
Look for my cute entries with pictures this week (not many photos of me, since well, I was sick). But the apartment is shaping up to be super cute – I think I will document my Stella & Dot launch on Friday too. Watch out, you’re going to get a big dose of Stephanie soon!