Meet Jade

I am tirelessly getting my act together to write my novel. So, meet Jade - one of my main characters. This is a rough excerpt from her character back story; I am developing their back stories in depth since I need to know people before manipulating the situation. The curse of a writer.

“One thing Jade has always done is pick up on people’s mannerisms. It seems strange because obviously you notice people and their physical characteristics, but to Jade it was more. Not only does she know your tone of voice, but she knows your speech patterns. She knows your footsteps, the way your fingers curl around a book while reading. She knows your silhouette, you shadow, the way you appear out of the corner of her eye. This always came in handy in drama class. She knows how to act because she is a different character each day. Jade wakes up in the morning and knows how the day will go by who she will be – she grasps a concept and holds on not letting anything jolt her in a different direction. It is exhausting, and some days she cannot even bear to wash her face because of the weight that rests upon her. Sometimes, you can see it in her eyes, that weight. But you also sense her watching you, observing you, memorizing you. But this is not just a silly trick that she developed for herself – no.  Jade makes herself notice, so that you can never sneak up on her.”

Organization

So I have decided I do not want this blog to be 100% about my health woes since life is not all about the struggles and the unknown right? 

This morning it is 11am and I am still in my pajamas. Now for most of you Saturday is a day for that, but it is RARE that I have a weekend off. But, today and tomorrow are clear sans any real plans (which makes me so happy). This morning I stare at the chipped nail polish that was fresh yesterday and staying cozy under my blanket. 

I prefer to work on my Mac at my desk, but the little HP that could is doing fine today. Once I have myself a Macbook I will have all of my work on the laptop and all of my play (personal photos, music, ect) on my desktop. Computer plans are boring though. 

Big things are happening for me right now. I’m a Stella & Dot Stylist plus an Event Coordinator for CNO with so many accounts to look after already. I love it. My goal is to own and operate a bridal shoppe one day – let’s see if I can make it happen. 

Next week my husband planned a trip to Chicago for us for my birthday. 3 days in the Windy City, we come home to my family on Sunday which is my birthday. I cannot wait to blog about that – but for now I am really just working this morning. 

I started reading The Help. I saw the movie and LOVED it, but I knew there was probably so much more under the surface. So naturally I bought the paperback and I am captivated. 

So I think this blog will be a little of my beauty tricks and tips, a little bit of the books I am reading, a little of the music I listen to, a little of my apartment renovations and a lot of my health endeavors since I really think that these syndromes are not talked about nearly enough. 

Are you on Pinterest? Follow my pins here!  http://pinterest.com/stephaniecoiro/

Ok so get ready, because here I come!

Time for an update

So it has been a while and I feel badly about that.

I guess it is hard for me to get into writing about my health. I am very private about these matters and most of the time it plummets me into a dark place because I am a total control freak. Part of the reason why I never experimented with drugs or alcohol is because I will never hand the reigns of my actions or feelings over to anyone or any substance. I am in total fear of what could happen if I let go of that control. I have let my guard down in the past and I am a total loose cannon – and I don’t like it. So I hold fast, take a deep breath, and push forward.

The good news is that my thyroid tests came back clean. Sugars clean, everything but one. The 17 hydroxyprogesterone came back elevated. If some of you are familiar with your pregnancy knowledge this is what comes back when you are with child.

I am not pregnant. I wish I could be delivering that great news. Now some more tests will be happening. After my vacation next week I will be going to a new OBGYN and getting another blood test. From the looks of it, I could have PCOS. For those of you who don’t know what that is, you should. It affects so many women and it goes unnoticed.

“PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, also known as Stein-Leventhal Syndrome, and is one of the most common hormonal endocrine disorders in women. PCOS has been recognized and diagnosed for seventy-five years. There are many signs and symptoms that a woman may experience. Since PCOS cannot be diagnosed with one test alone and symptoms vary from woman to woman, PCOS has been known as the “Silent Killer”. Early diagnosis of PCOS is important as it has been linked to an increased risk for developing several medical risks including insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and heart disease.”

Taken from: http://pcosfoundation.org/about-pcos

Lucky for me, I had a reference. When I found out the news I stupidly started to Google (I suggest NEVER doing this). The first thing that comes up is the word that almost every young newlywed fears – Infertility.

My heart dropped to the floor as my body did. I was home alone, curled up on the floor wailing. It all broke. Stephanie’s silent wall of strength shattered around her as she screamed.

While nothing has been formally diagnosed – we have been trying to get pregnant and it hasn’t happened. Yes sometimes it takes a while but I have felt something is off for a while. When that word came across the screen it was the unspoken fear wrapping its hands around my throat.

After my mini melodrama I picked up the phone. My cousin Krystal was diagnosed with PCOS last year  and I needed a pep talk.

“Stuffer you are going to be ok. This doesn’t mean you can’t have children stop Googling. The only thing that PCOS means is that you may not ovulate on a regular basis so it is harder to get pregnant.”

That makes sense. After a long conversation with my beautiful cousin I felt better. This wasn’t the kiss of death on all of our hopes and dreams of having children; this was a blessing in disguise.

So many women have PCOS and never know. They just think they have an irregular period; they gained weight because they got older, and the pain is normal. It isn’t. PCOS can lead to so many serious things going undetected.

So next week I am going on vacation for my birthday. And at the age of 23 I am taking the control of my health back. It scares me how many things can be wrong inside your body and you don’t even realize. Ask questions, be informed, and never take anything for granted.

Bloglovin'

So if I am going to be serious about committing myself to helping others go through the motions of life with health restrictions, I might as well put myself out there :)

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3424656/twenty-something-stephanie?claim=ajmngst38sy">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Herstory

And so I had all intentions of this being a food type of post but I have become deflated with reality. My whole life may be changing very soon – for the better but it will be a challenge for me. I love food – crappy junkie delicious food and I was ready to experiment and cook and share, but reality has struck and I am not sure it would be responsible for me to adventure into unhealthy cooking right now.

This week I finally went to the doctor and got some blood work done. They took the blood from my hand (which SUCKS) but nonetheless I did it. Turns out what I suspected was true: my thyroid levels were low.

Here is some backstory:

When I was sixteen I went to the doctor for a physical and they found a large cyst in my neck. It was (and is) uncomfortable when it is pressed on and swells whenever it feels like it. The doctors were perplexed. I was there in my paper gown with every physician in the office poking and prodding at my neck. The concerned looks back and forth were enough to make me nervously shake and start to cry. I am prone to full blown anxiety attacks – most of the time they are triggered due to my health.

After a painful 10 or so minuets went by, I was sent across the street for X-Rays. After that I was sent back to the doctor’s office.

“No spots”

“No spots, no, but she needs a biopsy”

I read enough Lurlene McDaniel books in my adolescence to know that a biopsy was serious and that it could conclude in caner. I knew that a lump in the neck could be Leukemia because that is what one of the girls felt on her boyfriend in one of those tragically sad novels. It ends with him drawing her a flower and then passing away on prom night. With all of that racing through my head I went into a tailspin of ‘what if’. But, the biopsy was clear (yes I was awake when they stuck a giant needle into my neck) but I was ok. The cyst apparently formed in response to some mysterious neck trauma I suffered growing up (whatever that was).

The problem was that it was wrapped around my thyroid. But the tests proved my levels to be normal so I exhaled.

Soon after this I started something a lot of teenage girls start and that is birth control pills which result in some extra hormones regulating some weird things in your body.

Over the course of the next 6 years I struggled with stress and weight like any other person does. My weight was always an issue since growing up I was a skinny awkward girl and I didn’t develop or grow into my features until I was about 17.

I started college 20 or so pounds heavier than I was used to (this means I weighed about 130 pounds….yeah I was that skinny). It has been a major insecurity of mine.

Every diet, every exercise, every everything I did to lose weight. At one point I lost 30 or so pounds in 2010, which was amazing for me. But like most people it went up and down like usual. The problem was after I stopped taking my pill my weight increased by almost double even though I was still eating the same. In discouragement I went back into some old habits but it was still strange how I was on a steady increase that I have never seen before. This was all right in time for my wedding so thanks for that insecurity universe, I don’t think I will ever forgive myself.

So, after scaring the living daylights out of myself by reading one of those ‘preparing for pregnancy books’ since starting a family is on the table I decided I am already 95% a bad mother because well I have cavities that need to be filled (aka I need like 4 crowns because my mouth is in distress) and I am carrying extra weight.

Finally, I go get my thyroid tested. It makes sense, I have all of the symptoms (which are vague). The main reason I went to get tested was that even after trying to conceive, it wasn’t happening after 4 months (yes I know that is too soon and a lot of people take a year but seriously it is discouraging and it got me to the doctor so shutty) I read that a thyroid issue could lead to fertility troubles.

Just as I suspected, my levels are low and I have an appointment with a specialist in about 2 weeks. After that I will most likely be put on a medication where I will have to fast and completely change my diet and routine to make it effective. It scares me so much because I am so stubborn and can never stick with anything.

So I have deiced that if it comes down to it this blog will be a place for me to share an experience. Underactive Thyroids are very common in women my age (who knew?!) and as frustrating as it is to hear ‘what you have is common, it is no big deal’ that isn’t what I want to get across. While it may be something people see often, it is a HUGE DEAL because hi, it effects every-day life. So I will keep you posted, and this blog will become Twenty Something Stephanie: Woman on a mission to help other women.

And some cute crafts and stuff in-between.

Happy Friday – I hope everyone feels fantastic today

Changes

Hello to the nobody who reads my blog – I am working on changing that ;)

Anyway for now I made some more than necessary changes to the look of my blog – ya dig? I sure do. Even if there are a few kinks still I am glad that it is all somewhat working out. I wanted to post about the changes because I have been spending a lot of time living and I am inspired by other blogs to share some things and to document more.

Since August 4^th (yes the day I got married) I have been doing a project 365 to document my first year as a wife day by day. Through this project 365 some challenges have arose:

1)      We are unbelievably boring

2)      Sometimes life gets hard unexpectedly and you don’t always want to document it

3)      I forget to take photos

All in all though it has been great so far and I am so happy that I did it. But now – since the writer in me is seriously aching for some action – I must Keep Calm and Blogger On.

Since I joined Pinterest I have been addicted just like I have been on the likes of Tumblr but now I have all of these warm fuzzy feelings of sharing recipes and crafts and it makes me so motivated to be productive.

So tonight will start my resolution of cooking new things at least once a week with the Stuffed Taco Shells recipe I pinned a week or so ago. Yes I know we are nearing the end of the month but better late than never. I feel like resolutions can be made all year, changes happen at the drop of a hat, the new year is always just a good starting point but isn’t the only one. Ya know?

I will start to document my cooking adventures (thanks Corinne!) and maybe even some of my 365 pictures. While I will write my everlasting pros also I am going to implement my creative ventures because I need an outlet for my creativity and here is the blog.

I also have a blog for my business (yup I’m a small business owner) here. I’m an Event Planner, which is really, really awesome.

Any creative people want to help me with html blah blah blahs and teach me a thing or two about photoshop? I’m a little lost!

So look out for some new awesome entries.

As I would like to say to myself today: Welcome Back Stephanie, Welcome Back.

2012

And over a month later: a post.

I am the worst at neglecting my blog. 2012 has not been held to my oath of organization but alas I am aware of the problem and making an effort to fix it.

It is snowing today. And as much of a pain snow can be – I am unbelievably happy. I love snow. I have a total Gilmore Girls over the moon love for the magic of the wintertime and the snow that falls during it. Driving home from work will be challenging but I will be able to look at the prettiness and serenity that snow brings.

I bought a brown leather beautiful journal which I have been writing in at least every other day. It has been nice. The focus that it brings to me is so intense. I think I am going to make an effort to start the day with it instead of end the day with it. I have been making small personal changes that I am hoping will add up into big ones this year.

Let’s face it, last year was full with big ups and huge downs and honestly I am in need of recovery. My Sister & Brother In-Law’s beautiful wedding day, our father’s retirements, my brother graduating from high school, me getting my bachelor’s degree, all led up to our wedding, being in Paris (falling in love, never wanting to come back), and then suffering one of the most painful losses a family could suffer. Cancer is a horrible thing. Please everyone take care of yourselves out there.

 But I cannot dwell on any of it, the good the bad and the ugly. Instead I need to move forward. Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.

So hello first blog entry of 2012 – you’ll be seeing me more often.

Also, out there in the blog universe, is there anyone who could kindly help me with a layout? I will pay if I have to, or trade my event planning services. Please contact me!

Ta Ta For Now,

Stephanie